split

mesusnetI’m not going to blame mercury retro because it’s been happening for a while, but everything feels split. Not in a crazy skitzo way more just a need to reconcile. For years I have been over-compartmentalizing. It’s a sort of self preservation system you use to get you through the bad times. Unfortunately it doesn’t serve you for the long haul. A lesson I have to keep relearning. Even now, writing this, part of my brain is like NO this site is for your writing and performing not your spiritual journey!! but how are those two things separate? I know better, which is also part of the problem. So I continue to share this. Shut up brain!! πŸ™‚

Rehearsals for Mo-mo have been awesome and provoking. My director Marc keeps saying stop editing stop commenting why don’t you trust these delicious words? I feel like a kid again. I think this is good. There’s a really good quote I cannot remember fully that basically says we never know anything we just keep getting reminded of it.

I’m also starting to think of a story about Persephone that predates Greece. What would be the consequences of telling that story? We shall see. I se eher sitting calmly ina chair. Liek she’s ready for imformation. Not sure where that’s going…. BUT it’s the inspiration I had after lecture by Karen Tate. She’s amazing.

I seek wholeness. I am looking into spiritual groups like OBOD and the like, to be less solo more community based. I will make time to do this! I need to finish some old projects and make time for them. Make time for me. Make time to sit see the nothingness. That sounds wonderful!!!!!!

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Birthday images

meathobbitt

So here’s me at Hobbit Restaurant and below is me as a cop model (she fattened me up, swear!). August has proven to be fun (more fun than fucking July) and again I find myself at more crossroads and unsure steps. I love 3 Numbers. I will rewrite but need more time to feel it out, how it can go or where it needs to wander. If you remember that fucking play almost killed me I can’t imagine how I’m going to survive the rewrite. When I get dark…. On a lighter note: Marc Silvia is directing me in Mo-mo. So lovely. I am so thrilled to be putting this show on it’s…heels? I also really want to do some film. I have a few arty ideas like Knot Now and Blue poem, BUT, I think, between Louis re-editing HH and Off Stage On I can really make a continuable product. God that sounded weird but you know what I mean. I miss video work. I think I burned out on it a few years ago after Wicca so now maybe I’m ready to shoot some shit! I just can’t make the same mistakes. And that’s the hard part. Same with 3 Numbers. Think through David, carry the idea to its logical conclusion and alternatives. I’m really glad I started reading Entrepreneur magazine but come on πŸ™‚ ha ha I’m off for a little desert time. Perhaps all the answers will come…or perhaps I’ll bliss out and not care, which is an answer too. Peace.

meascop
Oh did i tell you I started writing a weight loss book? I know, I am ridiculous. I’m only doing it for me……

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July is weird

julyJuly is weird. It always is for me. Typically the first half of the year I am SO productive but then summer hits and I get all blah nah whatever. Maybe it’s the weather. I mean it is friggin hot in LA!!! But this year I am trying something new: I am trying to be ok with my mood and chill-nees. I am tryuing to not beat myself up and say: do more work harder. I think that only leads to frustration. I mean come on t’s not like I’m a slacker I wrote Dandy and the queen for the 10 minutes fest, I finished and edited 3 numbers and Mo-mo. I did video for June 4th 3F show. I have to learn to respect the process and not push the process. I have this cool idea about a unicorn boy…and I really need to do something filmy!!! Maybe Knot now? maybe something easier???? Or at least shorter. Haven’t done film in like what 3 years?? Uhg!!!! I want to revisit LeBarronisms but I have to wait till my summer slacker goes away!!! πŸ™‚

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5 Things Friends Say that Writers Hate Hearing

meuhjgWriters work alone. We spend hours clicking keyboards and jotting notes, all by our little lonesome, until the finished project is ready for public consumption. Most of us have learned, the hard way, never to talk about a project before it’s done. It saps the energy you should be saving for the clicking. Talk later-write now. Sometimes, however, it gets lonely and you need to chat with your fellow humans and, often, the only thing you have to discuss is your project because god forbid you stop writing long enough to get laid. Continue reading

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Saddle, back in it, sort of, yes, definitely, I think,

USHOk so June, huh? I’m back and figuring out my summer. We just finished June’s pride show Art Out! It was great. Hot as hell but great! May was nuts prepping that show and seeing my nephew AJ off to his next adventure. Also I think I needed downtime. I finished 3 Numbers and the Mo-mo rewrite, now entering notes from the Tom meeting, which was amazing! I also performed Medea piece. So, a lot of typing was happening AND a lot of thinking. I dropped the ball on Coriander. I decided I needed to write a short story for him but all my ideas are long, so I’m rethinking it. No one publishes long on going pieces apparently. Oh well,I still just do him for me! I am considering Knot Now again. I can’t let it go so we shall see. Also the Sarah Sucker thing is tapping on my shoulder. As is Sassy Scarf. I want to do all of them BUT I have stay focused on Mo-mo. I want the show it be…well saying good sounds stupid..I want it to be an achievement. Is that weird? Continue reading

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