It’s the last chance for me to post in August but I am without words. So much did and did not happen in Europe. I am still processing. Like going through an old journal that you finished a week ago and look at and say oh right: that. Then. Who? I did some great things. This pic is of me at Gallerie Gallery with Juwellia (sp?) and Jose Promis! I got to sing in a German cabaret! I wasn’t very good but I did it. I spent the turn to 50 at Musee d Orsay. Like I wanted to be: surrounded by beautiful things. Seeing the haystacks made me cry. I remember seeing them a a youngin’ who was I then? Who am I now? It was intense. The following dinner party was fun and a thing of both legend and destruction. UGH Maybe there’s a huge silver lining? Perhaps not. And maybe that’s the information I needed to take? Ooo deep! ha ha I came back feet running and playing catch up. I am trying to make Patreon happen in away that makes me happy and harmonious. I am happy Dan and I are thinking about Tribe and what that might become??? I am submitting scripts and planning on buying a car. You know the mundane and fabulous in the same moment. I am still shocked by how amazing the whole trip was. How my friends are basically awesome creatures I will strive to be better for….. Deep breaths are needed. Not gonna happen soon. And that too is the lesson. Like in Goddess body nothing is ever done or finished it is all process and stop making struggle a bad word. Videos and photos coming soon!
“It is not what France gave you but what it did not take from you that was important.”
A lot going on. Mostly planning Paris (then Amsterdam Berlin Disney…) It has been a ridiculous amount of planning. I swear next vacay is just me and beach and nothing! Haha but it’s been amazing. I sort of blush when I think 15 of my friends are bothering and seemingly WANT to fly around the world to see me for my birthday! Truly blessed! I used the pic of me with a charmed vessel to feel the peace! Oh and I am basically out of vessels! WHAT? yes! Also Dan and I (maybe Reb with other buds) are making some politico music and playing dress up. This whole revisiting Luscious has made me realize how much I miss singing and performing and being on stage being a diva and occasional asshole ha ha So tatrd tribe (logo NOT finished btw) is happening this autumn. ALSO I finally did my Patreon page. No I haven’t launched it yet but I think it looks good. That, with my word videos and other ideas, are all the same idea of what I hold dear. What means anything to me. Stories and spirit all in love and moving forward in compassion. So not easy. More than ever it’s needed. I recently got inspired by a friend’s success. I almost got jealous (ok a little) but mostly I was like: Yes. That’s the road. Do what you love say yes and do SHIT! And stop being weighed down by bullshit. If it’s not propelling me down a a path of love NOW it’s not worthy of my attention. This includes but is not limited to my own nonsense. Don’t get me wrong J’adore nonsense… So weird, last few posts have been what the fuck. Still bummed about PS and other 2018 disappointments but now I feel sense of footing. Where will it lead? Where I wish to wander? Perhaps. Or maybe new doors will become seen and other veils be drawn. I jokingly say: I’m half way thru. 50. It feels half way, ya know? But like in a really awesome amazing and lovely way. If the next, possibly last, chapter is as fulfilling and informative and rewarding as the first 50….well all I can say is: I win!
It is SO FREAKING weird not being in a show! If I wasn’t working part-time at the restaurant I think I’d go crazy! Oh no let’s go! Here’s me at Urban Social House for a day of writing. Odd thing: no idea what to write! I’m ready for my What make me Queer story tomorrow and still waiting for notes on my erotic novella and Paris is just around the corner OOOHH LALA! I’m thinking about making Drink Fek Fight super more gay. Also the Witch Tales (working title) is really forming up. Trying to figure out what the fuck to do with Complete History! Ok I know: I say I’m not working on anything and then list 10 things, but you now what I mean! It’s been a year since Dad died. I’ve been crying a lot. Landslide came on the radio and I lost t. Poor Chris and then last night Cyndi Lauper sang a song from Kinky Boots and then went into True Colors and poor Mike! This is a weird update BUT I didn’t wanna missJune. (and have zero good reasons why I wouldn’t have posted) Let’s say this: All is well.I have my health and creativity an amazing friends and new ideas everyday! Blessed being I am! (alla Yoda) OH I sold some spell jars to STRANGERS! How cool is that! they want more and the carrot book! Oh and I (prematurely) put out ads for models for the cover art of my book, which I think might be a short too! Ok I sound insane. 🙂
Lord and Lady what a year. First off I have ben cold for like 8 months I put this here to remind me to not complain when the sun beats down 99 degrees on my bald head. Ok rant over! Next thing: I screwed it up! TOTALLY! UGH!! All I wanted to do was write porn. Like for real. Just do it! Write a little excerpt you might have read in Forum! I loved those so much! So I had a few ideas because well, I’m me I always have ideas. And my fantasy life is ridiculous. So I started to actually write one out, more than just a blurb or funny: one day…thing. Ya know, a freaking story. It was all hot and sexy and dirty and a bit more violent than I meant it to be.. but I just followed where my heart-on led. My 2k word little porn is like 30k and not finished. It has become a treatise on storytelling and character arc. WTF Why can’t I just write little toss off? And of course it’s nonlinear so there’s that too. UGH But NOW I have to finish it!!! I even came up with video marketing ideas and shoots. So over the top. Why LeBarron why!!! I’m also playing with this cosplay idea. Not sure where it’s going to go but it’s been fun. Just sort of playing and exploring. We shall see. I am also obsessed with the sissy sailor idea. I think it’d be a hoot for fringe. It’s Querelle meets Billy Budd possibly on Treasure Island. I have to do some re-reading. Please Gods don’t let it be a musical!!!
I was interviewed on being a queer witch, which was more work than it sounds! BUT I’e been wanting to do a solo show about it, so it was good practice to go over how I actually viewed my spirituality. It was cool. Every time i think of the solo show I see myself in rags being a charms dealer and telling fortunes to the audience. I know. I know. I’ve been craving doing some short film work I wrote a little piece about early Gods, new spins on stories but of course, being me, I made it too long. I’m still submitting The Third and The Fabulous Adirondacks. I view it as apart time job!!! which after getting anew part time job have come to realize part time jobs can blow! I’m kidding!
So I’m not in rehearsal or prepping for a rehearsal, performing or crashing after a show for the first time in YEARS!!! How does it feel? Weird. Terrible. Boring. and just a tad peaceful. Things are happening and not-happening. I did Charmed Vessels for the holidays and it was awesome, so I did my Etsy site, which sucks. I would never buy something like this online…without feeling it and holding it. I was gonna take it down but i think having that stuff online helps. Right? I will get off my ass and take some samples to local stores and see if that helps…it’s not that I don’t believe in the spells I guess I just don’t believe in the average consumer to get it.. and that sux. Achilles is dead in the water. UGH. That sux too. Too much, WAY too much to go into now but suffice to say it isn’t happening any time soon. That bummed me out more than I can ever explain. My car died. RIP Lady Royale! Palm Spring bailed on History of Drag. I know, batting 1,000 right? BUT in a sliver of cool the new artistic director might be interested in next year. It’s not like I’ll be too old for the role :))) I have to start over. We shall see.
Paris is the best part of 2018! Booked flights, Paris airbnb! Excited. Costume is no where near done. Pieces are arriving. I might have over estimated my sewing talent! It should be fun, certain friends not getting along not withstanding…we shall see (AGAIN) I am sure fun will be had. Continue reading