It was a ridiculous time. Life was unkind. It’s a period of your life when you explicitly remember certain details but so much is a blur of the person you became. The details still haunt me. I was poor as a church mouse’s pagan nephew. I tried really hard to be grateful for my crappy job as security at minimum wage but it was, as I said, crappy. I was afraid. I was weak. I knew 2 people in all of Los Angeles. Oh yea, and every morning I woke shaking from drug withdrawals. It was that, ok I’m gonna say it, Karen Carpenter time when I had stopped the destructive behavior but my poor skinny body and broken spirit might not be strong enough to make it through the next day.

I had been Auntie Luscious queen of the Village of East and now I was telling folks to use the bathroom one at a time and trying desperately to ignore the sound of them snorting delicious lines of cocaine when they disobeyed me. Yes, I was jealous but also regretful, ashamed, embarrassed, and a whole cornucopia of words whose meanings you pray not to learn first hand. To say “life sucked” is like calling Chernobyl, Guantanamo and The Kardashians unpleasant.

I wish to say that by bravado, esprit de coeur or just holding on for dear life I managed to not act upon any of the disparaging thoughts that riddled my head. But in fact, my survival may very well have hinged on something as simple as a club: Alternative Mondays at Rage. (I’ll pause while you giggle.) I looked forward to Mondays like Christmas, like Fleet Week, like I had paced for my dealer to show up. Friday night’s tears would be pushed away thinking about the fun I’d get to have in 3 days. The things we tell ourselves in the wee hours tend to seem ridiculous in the light of day but that only makes them more powerful.

I would take the bus into West Hollywood. Dance till midnight. Drink 1 beer for $2. Dance till they tossed us out and then bus it back. All in all a $5 extravagance that was nothing less than a lifebuoy in a shit sea. I had found my people, my music. I was raised on Rock! Zeppelin, Doors, Eagles, then Crüe, Halen, we can argue about Journey later, then Nirvana, Hole and Green Day, argue later, the point is I was never a techno dance boy and not quite a mosher but I could jump up and down to an electric guitar like nobody! So that is exactly what I did every single Monday. I danced out my frustration. I slammed out my fear. I flailed out my fortune. And I made some friends. I was alive on Mondays and it was enough.

I hope this story seems silly to you. I hope you have never had to make up a reason to live. Would I be writing this if in the haven of West Hollywood I hadn’t found a reprieve from the pain? A people? A safe place and time? Years have passed since then and I am thankfully not the same person. I still, however, jump up and down to a slamming guitar. I still remember to live one Monday at a time. I am still grateful for West Hollywood. And I am probably one of the few people who can literally say: last night a DJ saved my life. That, even to me, is ridiculous.

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Casting Comedy Magick

NA_image2 Oh wait what’s going on? What’s happening? People are laughing? Oh snap! That’s right I’m doing a comedy! Seriously this is what went through my head at the last show! It’s been a while since I did an out and out comedy. Just on stage being silly. Don’t get me wrong there’s some sweet moments but yea: funny! We, that means me, are such comedy snobs. Somewhere we got told, and I think before acting class so I can’t blame them, that drama is more important or more artistic than comedy. Like somewhere in my brain examining the human condition is more relevant when crying. How stupid is that! This isn’t so much a post as much as I want to write this down so I remember: one of the greatest gifts that was bestowed upon me, and for which I practice daily gratitude, is my sense of humor. I miss being a clown. Making people laugh is the best magick EVER! I need to cast more spells.


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Tech week not for the weak!!!

CGd0yx8UgAAmoPtI love this pic a lot! First of all if you haven’t gotten tickets yet WTF?!?!?! Get them now!!!!! Ok that wasn’t supposed to sound as angry as it did :) I’m not super concerned with tickets sales YET more concerned with music changes I am trying to keep up with! The play is pretty funny. It’s nice doing something ridiculous and silly. We’re just having fun and singing some cool songs; it’s as simple as that. Hopefully I can post us singing soon. Am I stressed? Kind of. But stressed in a good thespian way not tyrannical producer way. In other things: Still writing Magoge. It’s really dark. Sometimes I can’t work on it cause I just can’t get that down ya know? But it’s still streaming on Fantastical fiction. Where you can also buy my ebook Coriander:Orders of Blood. (I’ve been taking out some ad space we shall see if that = sales. This is all so new to me!!!!) AND this new bulletin: Andrew and I are going legit! Non profit here we come!! So excited about this news!!! Ok back to listening to my vocal tracks a thousand times before Tuesday :)

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SO it begins again……

NA_programAD Hello dear old friend and enemy you Fringe you! Raise an army if you will for I have returned! (maniacal laughter) I see you’ve grown stronger and more challenging…I shall not be defeated! I will create art, have fun and drink beer with thespians. Try and stop me! I know, I know, I was going to take a year off but Will and I had so much fun writing the music we had to make it happen. So glad we did…well glad now we’ll see June 9th if I still think this was a good idea:) Yes people I am Fringing again this time with a fantastical musical Nerd Anarchy! It’s ridiculous fun and such a nice change from last year’s heavy hitters (I mean that in a loving way) Don’t forget Coriander is an ebook so feel free to buy that while you’re buying tickets to my play!!! Doing it people!!!!

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Storytelling article: So, what to you do?

Check out my article on Fantastical Fiction! It’s just a little blurb on how to answer the most basic question!


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